Pensive elderly man

So many of us have a deep, painful worry: Did my loved one suffer when they transitioned to the Other Side? I hear this concern all the time from my clients.

To give you an idea of what happens in that transition, think about this: Have you ever been in a situation that is very startling, very scary, even traumatic? Did you feel — all of a sudden — like you weren’t even there? Or, do you find you cannot remember the whole thing that happened?

If so, then what happened in that moment is your soul stepped out for just a brief moment. But it did not fully disconnected from you. The soul does that because we don’t always need to feel the full sense of trauma that we might be going through.

I actually had that exact scenario when I was in my early 20s when I was in a really serious car accident. An oncoming car had slid right into the front of my car. I heard a police officer arriving on the scene. He was saying, “Send Flight for Life, but she has to be dead.”

Well, thank goodness, I wasn’t dead.

But I did not remember my car slipping off the road. I didn’t remember it rolling multiple times. Actually, I didn’t even know what exactly had happened.

Just before the crash, I had seen it coming — literally, not psychically. But then all of a sudden it was like I was “in between.”

And the next thing you know, I was upside down in my car! Now, we know in reality that accidents happen within a matter of seconds. But I didn’t remember that. And I wasn’t knocked out or unconscious, either.

It was only many years later, after I became a professional medium, that I really understood what had happened to me.  In the readings I was doing for clients, I began hearing from people in the Spirit World time — time and time again —  that they did not suffer at their moment of transition. Regardless of the way they transitioned, they did not suffer.

Of course, each transition is different. There are so many different ways people make their way towards the Spirit World. For some, it is violent, while other people transition after a long illness.

I’ve had communicators from the Spirit World say they were very uncomfortable during their illness — achy, in pain, and so on. So, I’m not saying people have no pain or discomfort. But that pain or suffering is in the time leading up to the transition. They do not talk about the moment of transition itself as having pain, difficulty or any kind of suffering in it at all.

That’s even the case when someone had a traumatic passing, such as an accident. Or, when people decided to transition purposefully on their own. Even then, they do not talk about having suffered in the transition. In fact, they will often say, “I didn’t suffer in the way you think I did.”

That language is key. Listen to the words:

I didn’t suffer in the way you think I did.

Really take in those words.

Otherwise, your thoughts and imagination will take you somewhere else, somewhere very difficult. Even if — especially if — you walked into a room and found something very traumatic with your loved one. I didn’t suffer in the way you think I did.

What I’ve come to understand is our loved ones on the Other Side are trying to erase painful and traumatic images and memories from our minds. They want to shift our focus away from their transition and towards their life, liveliness, and goodness.

They want us to remember the healthy parts of them. You know — the good times, the silly times. The times when they gave to others the essence of who they were prior to their transition. Prior to an illness that changed them somehow. Prior to substance issues, depression, mental health challenges, brain injury, dementia … prior to any of those things. They want to be remembered outside of those occurrences.

And that is who you connect with in the spirit world — whether you’re connecting on your own or with a medium. That is the person who makes the connection. That is who your loved one is. And that is how they’re living in the spirit world. We don’t carry illness with us there.

Your loved one did not suffer in their transition to the Other Side.