For confidentiality, I never use clients’ real names or share the specifics of their spiritual journeys.

Are you thinking about making a change in your life? Trying to figure out how to handle a difficult situation with a family member? Contemplating a big-ticket purchase?

Your loved ones in Spirit probably have some advice for you!

Whether they offer messages to be shared during a medium reading, or they send you signs on their own, your loved ones on the Other Side very much want to support you. And they’ll do their best to guide you toward the “right” decisions or actions.

In most cases, their advice is helpful. But what if it isn’t plausible — or doesn’t feel right for you?

“Brother Knows Best?”

That’s what happened when I did a reading for Phil, a 58-year-old accountant at a crossroads in his life and career.

He and his wife were the proud parents of twin daughters, both juniors in college. Knowing they would soon be empty nesters, they’d been thinking about moving to their dream house near the beach.

But Phil was nervous. Was this the right move? Was it the right time?

During our reading, the first person to come forward from the Other Side was his older brother Howard.

Phil wasn’t the least bit surprised. Despite the 8-year age difference, he and Howard were always close.

As the wiser, older brother, Howard always looked out for Phil.

Never short on opinions and advice — then and now — Howard had plenty of messages he wanted me to relay to his brother. They came fast and furiously!

“Do it … make the move!” he advised. “Stop worrying about finding a job. You’ve worked hard and paid your dues. Life is short. Why not retire and enjoy it while you can?”

At first, Phil smiled. “Yeah,” he said. “That really does sound good!” But seconds later, he realized his brother’s advice wasn’t very realistic.

Free Will … and Guilt-Free

Howard meant well. He wanted his younger brother to live life to its fullest … before it was too late. From his vantage point, it was better to take risks than to have regrets.

But he wasn’t considering all the practical factors playing into Phil’s decision.

His daughters still had another year in college — and both were considering grad school. Phil was at the top of his professional game, having made senior partner at his firm just last year.

Sure, he was exhausted by the end of every year’s tax season, but he enjoyed working.

Also, his firm offered generous health insurance benefits. Too young for Medicare, Phil would have to buy private market insurance for his entire family — ouch!

Phil was grateful for Howard’s enthusiastic advice. He knew it was meant to be helpful, yet it didn’t sit quite right. He felt a twinge of guilt, though. How could he not take his wise older brother’s advice?

To put Phil’s mind at ease, I reassured him we would explore this high-stakes decision more deeply in the psychic portion of his reading.

Psychic Answers to Medium Questions

Medium readings connect us with our loved ones, friends, and even animal companions. During this part of the reading, they send us their love and share all sorts of messages with us.

Once a sitter’s loved ones have finished communicating, we move onto the psychic side.

This order — medium, then psychic — is intentional.

Psychic readings blend spiritual input with practical information. This portion of the reading is more interactive. It’s also more objective because insights come from guides rather than our loved ones.

Learn more: Medium vs. Psychic Readings: What’s the Difference?

Our guides know us purely on the soul level. Thus, they can be more impartial in supporting us.

With the help of my own guides, I can take a deeper look at things that may have come up during the medium part of the reading. Psychically, I can help my client decipher any unclear messages or answer additional questions.

Well-Meaning Advice: Take It or Leave It?

While your loved ones will try to share insightful wisdom, they don’t become all-knowing or all-seeing after they transition. Therefore, don’t automatically assume your loved ones in Spirit “know better” than you. This is a common trap for many people!

They’ll share things from their perspective, and offer advice consistent with their personality, which carries over into the Other Side.

Phil shared with me that Howard loved to have a great time and was the first to take on a new adventure. It’s no wonder he told Phil to “go for it!”

Related: When Little Details Mean So Much: Love from the Other Side

So … what should you do with advice from the Other Side?

  • Keep in mind that your loved ones always have the best of intentions. Thank them!
  • Know that you have free will at all times. It’s up to you to decide whether take their full advice, pieces of it — or none at all. For example, recently my grandmother in Spirit suggested we “take out a home equity loan, the money is there” to do some home-improvement projects. My answer was, “Umm, thank you, but no. Have you seen today’s interest rates?!”
  • Sit with your loved ones’ ideas before rejecting them entirely.
  • Ditch any guilt! You won’t let your loved ones down if you choose another course of action. You’re not being disrespectful. It could be a wiser move in light of your current situation.