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If you had a challenging relationship with a loved one before they passed, will your relationship with them change once they cross over to the Other Side?

And what about relationships between two people who have passed?

When we talk about our relationships with (and between) people on the Other Side, it’s important to keep in mind that while your loved ones may now be in spirit form, they are still people. Their personalities stay essentially the same.

Also, just as people have free will in the physical realm, they also have choices in the Afterlife. Based on my philosophy and experience doing readings, many of the dynamics of our relationships in the physical realm also exist on the Other Side  —  and, these relationships can still evolve.

Understanding how relationships continue (or change) once a loved one has passed can be confusing. Following are five commonly asked questions about relationships in the Afterlife:

Who will I have relationships with on the Other Side?

Because the dynamics of relationships carry over to the Other Side, your ties to them will vary accordingly. In general, you’ll have relationships with your family of origin (parents, siblings, grandparents), as well as families you gained through marriage (in-laws, stepparents, stepchildren, stepsiblings) or adoption.

You might have relationships with close friends and mentors or teachers. Even pets are able to join you on the Other Side!

Just as you would in the physical realm, you might find some relationships come and go on the Other Side, while others remain more consistent.

Interested in hearing client stories about relationships on the Other Side? Listen to my webinar, What Happens to Relationships in the Afterlife?

Will I be “stuck” with someone in the Afterlife?

One client told me that her dad left when she was just four years old. She never really knew him and, understandably, harbored a great deal of resentment towards him for abandoning the family. She asked, “Will I be stuck with him on the Other Side?”

If you’ve had a challenging relationship with someone in the physical realm — whether an estranged parent, sibling or ex-spouse — you might have the opportunity to meet and work things out on the Other Side.

But do you have to work things out? No.

People coexist with greater fluidity in the Afterlife than they do in the physical realm.

During readings, I often find that people come through from the Other Side to communicate their point of view — to explain why they acted in a certain way — in the hopes of healing a relationship. While clients often take great comfort from these explanations, you are never forced to accept them or to continue a relationship that you chose to end, whether here or in the Afterlife.

Can I make amends with someone on the Other Side?

Medium readings can facilitate healing for both sides. Just as loved ones who have passed can communicate their side of a story to you, you can also try to make amends with them. Loved ones on the Other Side can hear your messages, and often confirm that in a reading.

If you want to make amends with someone who has passed, you don’t have to wait for a reading. You can send your apologies or offer point of view anytime  —  in your mind, or out loud  — and it will reach them!

Do negative feelings carry over to the Afterlife?

Negative relationship dynamics like jealousy, resentment, anger and dysfunctional attachment are all tied to the human ego. We do not carry ego over to the Other Side.

These negative feelings are human — rather than spiritual — emotions. Because the Other Side is a realm filled with love and healing, it is my experience that these emotions are replaced by objective opportunities to learn and grow, when people choose to do so. This shift makes it possible to work through troubled relationships when one or both people have transitioned to the Other Side.

If I remarry after a divorce or my spouse dies, who will I be with on the Other Side?

People coexist with greater fluidity in the Afterlife than they do in the physical realm. There are no absolutes; people come and go of their free will. Remember, we are all connected  — and, at the same time, we are all individuals as well.

Just as people have free will in the physical realm, they also have choices in the Afterlife.

I often see parents show up together for a client reading, even if they were divorced and/or remarried. Their visit during the reading doesn’t mean that they necessarily “together” on the Other Side, but rather that they can coexist.

You Will Be Okay

If you are worried about your relationships with those who have passed, or what will happen to your relationships whenever you cross over, please let that go. With the freedom of choice, and the Afterlife’s support for healing, you will be okay. You won’t be stuck in painful relationships, and you and your cherished ones will be able to continue to grow in love.