grandmother and granddaughter having tea in garden

Everybody wants a visit dream. But not everyone gets one.

A visit dream can be a powerful way for your loved one on the Other Side to let you know that they’re at peace. That they send their love.

If you’re hoping for a visit dream, it can be disappointing to wait. And wait. And wait! You might assume that your loved one has forgotten about you or that they don’t love you anymore. Please know that this is not the case.

What Does a Visit Dream Feel Like?

When you have a visit dream, it usually feels like a true, actual visit  —  spending some precious quality time with someone you care about. You may find that you remember every detail and nuance of the dream in a way that feels different from your regular dreams. You may recall what you or others were wearing, where you were, how someone moved, and so on.

A visit dream usually feels like an actual visit.

Usually, if a loved one visits you in a dream, their main message to you is that they are okay; they are well. This message may be in words or imagery, but you’ll mostly get it in the feeling of the dream itself. This feeling  —  your experience of being in this visit  —  will probably stay with you as a strong memory.

After the dream, you are likely to feel calm and peaceful. If this is the first time you have had any communication from your loved one since they passed, you will probably feel a very great sense of relief to find out that they really are okay.

“Why Isn’t My Loved One Visiting Me in a Dream?”

Over the years, I’ve heard many explanations directly from people on the Other Side who want to visit loved ones in a dream, but simply can’t get through.

Here are the four most common reasons. Could any of these apply to you or your loved one?

1. You’re not in an optimal sleep state.

Think about connecting with someone on the Other Side. They’re no longer in the same physical realm as you are. When I am making a medium communication, I need to meet them in the middle of the two realms. That’s what happens when you sleep, too. Medications, light sleeping and other sleep disturbances may prevent you from settling into the deep level of sleep that’s enables “meeting in the middle.”

2. Your loved one isn’t a visual thinker.

The way they communicated in the physical realm is the same way they will communicate in the Afterlife. If your loved one wasn’t a visual thinker before, they might not be able to appear to you visually in a visit dream. It doesn’t mean they love you any less! Rather, their analytical or logical thinking style hinders communicating through imagery.

Related: Five Common Questions About Relationships on the Other Side

3. You’re not ready.

It often happens that your loved one is well aware that you’re asking for a dream visit — and they want to visit — but you are not yet in the right emotional space for it. If you’re in an early stage of grief, you might still be wrestling with shock, disbelief or the intense pain of your loss. When that’s the case, you subconsciously create a protective shield to avoid further hurt. While this is a very normal and healthy response to grief, it may prevent a visit dream.

4. They’re not ready.

Some people learn how to communicate from the Other Side faster than others do. In some cases, it can take months. Just the other day, an individual on the Other Side asked me to pass along this message: “I’m trying to make a dream visit; I just haven’t figured out how to reach that dream state yet!”

Believe me, I know how discouraging it feels when you can’t connect with your loved one in a dream. Even though I’m a medium, I’ve had that experience myself! But do take comfort in knowing that it’s not a reflection on how your loved one feels about you. Stay open to receiving other signs from them.

Related: What Happens When a Loved One Dies by Suicide?

Don’t assume that your loved one has forgotten about you.

No matter how badly you want a dream visit, you can’t force it. You can, however, increase your ability to reach a sleep state conducive to a dream visit. Most important: practice meditation. It will not only allow you to meet your loved one in a middle realm — but will also help you manage stress, achieve better quality sleep and improve your overall health.

Also, remember that there is a lot of gray area when it comes to communicating with loved ones in the Afterlife. If they aren’t coming to you now, try to accept that there is a reason for it  —  and know that it can still happen in the future!

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